(An audience member, taking on the form of trumpet “wah-wahs” like Mrs. They were silly movies then, and they’re silly movies now. (Both posters from those movies are shown briefly) Why does this matter? It doesn't! It doesn't matter at all. NC: Well, I did a little research and found out that he directed such movies as Child’s Play and Fright Night. NC (voiceover): Now you might be wondering why I know who Tom Holland is. Harker (Tom Holland): (to Nick Hopewell, the British assassin) See you in London on Saturday. By who, you may ask? Well, by the director himself, Tom Holland! One of them is a little blind girl named Dinah, one is a woman named Laurel, and one is a British assassin hired to kill somebody. NC (voiceover): So we see a bunch of people arriving at an airport in L.A. It’s a Stephen King miniseries! Let’s take a look. NC: It’s long, it’s silly, it’s over-the-top. Everybody was hooked despite its incredibly goofy moments, but were then suddenly let down by one of the silliest payoffs ever. NC (voiceover): This is one of those drawn-out miniseries from the mid-‘90s. (The title screen for the miniseries is shown, followed by a montage of clips from the miniseries) (he waves his hands in a spooky manner) The Langoliers.

But that doesn't mean I have to like everything he’s done, and on top of that, that doesn't mean that the movies and miniseries based on his books are that great either. He’s a very talented writer and has written some very good stories. NC (voiceover): Okay, before you guys go nuts, I want to emphasize I don’t hate Stephen King. (Images of Stephen King, the covers of a couple of his books, and posters of film adaptations of his books are shown as NC speaks) Whoa! (He ducks as the title “The Stephen King Miniseries” comes at him) You’re about to enter…the Stephen King Miniseries. Behind that door, a shitty remake that fucks it all up. Behind that door are two scary little girls. A world where plot devices are either over-explained or not explained enough. A world where hammy acting is rewarded and terrible effects are the norm. A world of overused characters and clichés. NC: You’re entering a world of awkwardness. (The review opens in a “Twilight Zone” style, and NC speaks spoofing Rod Serling's narration along with clips from Stephen King’s film adaptations in the background)

The stephen king drinking game